The First Time

  • by
boy child sad alone

The night I was assaulted I
was wearing a t-shirt
with the Benjamin

Franklin quote about beer and Snoopy pajama pants.

Before I relaized it I
was naked

her
hands
trailing
down
my
body.

Closing my eyes, I wished
I was my eight-year-old self throwing
up at Easter mass
mouth tasting of sores and
stomach acid
or someone swimming until
they drown

anyone other than the person whose
thighs were spread apart
exposing everything to
the quiet
of the night.

When I finally told a friend
he asked if I
came
and when I said yes
he laughed
saying that I must have liked it and
should be happy
I had gotten
laid
so young.

Published in the book Upon Waking: 58 Voices Speaking Out From the Shadow of Abuse”. Featured image by Myriam Zilles from Pixabay.